Blooming Business of the Month: Dr. Ellen Mahony
February 17, 2006 by Barb Scala
Filed under Articles
Woman Professional in Male Dominated Specialty
Women physicians have made their mark in most fields of medicine today but in the specialty of cosmetic surgery, a woman doctor is hard to find. Dr. Ellen Mahony in Westport CT is the only solo board certified plastic surgeon in our area. She fits into a unique profile as she keeps company with only a handful of similarly credentialed women, comprising less than 6% of all board certified plastic surgeons world wide.
Woman-to-Woman Connection
Dr. Mahony, known for her extensive training and clinical experience in the field of cosmetic surgery, has an open, distinctive style of communication with female patients which has inspired her to focus on woman-to-woman oriented care. Her practice encompasses all aspects of plastic surgery including facial, breast and body rejuvenation and reconstruction. During consultations, Dr. Mahony takes the time to listen to the expectations of her patients, encouraging questions and a thorough discussion of aesthetic goals. “As a woman doctor, I find my patients can easily express the results they want to attain, find the care they’re looking for and relate to someone who understands their process.”
Patient Compassion
Dr. Mahony attracts patients from all across the tri- state area who are looking for quality care in a friendly, supportive environment. Women today are seeking female professionals such as attorneys, dentists, financial advisors and Ob-Gyn physicians, after all who would be better able to provide compassion, empathy and professionalism than another woman? Dr. Mahony’s distinctive style of communication with female patients sets her apart from the rest as she provides an open, non- judgmental forum for women to define themselves, their lifestyle and their appearance.
Her Work is Her Passion
Dr. Mahony is passionate about her work and enjoys helping people, especially women, achieve their personal goals. “There’s nothing like the positive energy in the O.R.- the snap of gloves, crisp clean feeling of instruments as they are passed into my hands, the teamwork of the staff and most importantly, the exhilarating feeling which fills my heart when I am invited by a patient to share in safely and positively transforming her life. When a patient looks as good as she feels, I’ve done my job and I am equally honored and humbled to have been a part of that experience.”
Join Dr. Mahony at informal Woman-to- Woman monthly get togethers at her office where topics of interest are discussed and questions answered. The next is Tues., March 14th at 7:00pm. Please call to RSVP 203.221.0102. Seats are limited. Bring a friend!
Savor Your Time
February 17, 2006 by Barb Scala
Filed under Articles, sanity savers
Dr. Dale, licensed psychologist who appears on the TODAY Show, joins us with her ongoing column Sanity SaversTM for a BALANCED Life.
Are We Savoring Life?
The word multi-tasking never existed 30 years ago but everyone nowadays seems to be talking about it and doing it. We’re all in a hurry trying to make every minute count as we over-schedule our calendars, appointment books, and handhelds. Are we concentrating on the end result too much rather than “engaging” the process? Is our on-the-go lifestyle misusing and abusing our precious time so we forget the value and meaning of “ enjoying life”? Why are we letting work, tasks and chores consume our every minute rather than taking time for ourselves and savoring life?
Ask Tough Questions
By asking some tough questions you can craft a life that you really embrace instead of letting it whiz by. What do you REALLY want for yourself and your family? If there’s a problem, can you clearly define it and foresee realistic solutions? Are you truly satisfied and fulfilled when you obtain the things you wanted? Instead of wanting more, can you be satisfied with what you have now? Is there something you can do to more sincerely appreciate who and what are in your life at this moment and begin to truly savor life?
With an understanding and awareness of what is important to you and your loved ones, you can stop letting life pass you by and get down to “living.” Here are some Sanity Savers to get you on track:
- Recognize the Richness of Each Day – Little miracles happen each and every day and if we are open to them, they’ll pop up everywhere. It’s all in our perception. Even mundane tasks can be turned into opportunities. Instead of reluctantly paying the bills each month, use it as lessons in appreciation (you have the funds to pay for what you use) and budgeting (feel good that you have a plan for paying off your debt.) When it’s your turn to drive the car pool, enjoy the time with your kids and their friends and learn what’s going on in their lives by listening to how they converse with one another. A warm greeting, a sunny day, a kind word and your favorite song on the radio are all gifts to savor
- Find the Lesson in Each Day – Life is the school we each attend every day of the week; find the lesson in everything you do and experience. When something goes wrong, use it as a stepping stone to something deeper. Every situation has the potential to help us understand ourselves in relation to the world and those in it. Look at “accidents” and “mistakes” as experiences from which to learn. Likely you will one day, be in a similar situation or you will be in the position to help someone else who is experiencing the same thing.
- Trust Your Inner Voice – As you go through your day, be “present” and aware of your internal responses. Ask yourself, “Why am I feeling this way?” “Is this important?” and “What’s happening?” By constantly checking in with yourself, you exercise your intuitive “muscle” and can develop a reliance on it for decision making. Remember to pay attention to your own “inner voice” and not rely solely on other’s opinions or perceptions. What you should be doing and what is expected of you may or may not be compatible. Only you will know and can take steps to do things that feel right for YOU.
- Be Happy with Baby Steps – Remember the cliché “Rome wasn’t built in a day?” Take one step at a time and be patient with yourself and others. Sometimes you may take one step back which can provide a necessary and valuable lesson so you can take two forward in the future.
- Learn to “Be” instead of “Do” –Feel as well as think. Seek your balance by taking the time to be in the moment instead of merely concentrating on the end result. Commend yourself and relish in goals already met instead of only focusing on those not yet attained. Some of your best insights or accomplishments may be unexpected and never even make it on your “To Do” list.
- Commemorate Your “Living” Time – Focus on your feelings and keep a daily journal of your thoughts. Don’t allow your life to be dominated by deadlines and schedules. Give yourself a gift and from time to time, forget the day, month or year. Remove your watch and see what it is like to be “free” from time.
- Be Grateful – Be thankful for every person, place or situation you encounter. Be sure to express your gratitude to others and put words of thanks into your daily repertoire. As we age, time becomes more precious; be grateful you have time to live your life.
- Set a Positive Theme for Each Day – No matter what you are doing, you can start and end each day on a good note by concentrating on what you will (or did) encounter and what you learned. Even when life throws you great challenges, find ways to understand the underlying meaning and what you can learn from what appears to be so “negative”. The way to attain a balanced life is to appreciate that all life is about balance, flow, and change. Some of us do better than others at trusting that there are “silver linings” hiding under dark clouds.
How to Feel Love on Valentine’s Day: Even If You’re Single
February 2, 2006 by Barb Scala
Filed under self discovery
Celebrate Whether Single, Dating or Married
Women have big expectations for this holiday. The romantic stakes are high with hopes of jewelry, flowers, chocolate, or candlelight dinners. While some people love the sentimentality, others dread the sight of Cupid. Below find ways to feel positive love this Valentine’s Day no matter what your relationship status.
Expand Your Definition of Love
Everyone has love in their life if you expand the definition to include friends and family. Celebrate as if your life is brimming with love and share that spirit with people you encounter. Express appreciation to your family, send notes to old friends, cherish a neighbor, or give your dog some extra playtime. Use Valentine’s Day (or any day) to acknowledge all kinds of love.
Be Realistic about Your Romantic Expectations
If you’re in a relationship, be realistic about the romance you expect and take ownership of what you want. Real life doesn’t usually imitate a juicy novel. Be grateful for a single rose or two dozen. Appreciate your love’s efforts and thoughtfulness. Be direct and tell your Valentine nicely what would make you happy and don’t leave room for guessing games. Treat your partner the way you want to be treated and do it for the simple pleasure it brings rather than what you’ll get in return. Remember, it’s the thought that counts not the price tag.
Reframe Envious Feelings into Positive Evidence
If you’re single and feeling envious of couples in love, reframe these feelings. Lift your thoughts to be happy for these people and share in their good energy. The more couples you see in love, the more proof that you too can find a partner and that love is alive!
Treat Yourself to a Gift of Love
Whether you want a heart-shaped necklace or a heart-shaped box of chocolates, make your desire a reality. Purchase something marvelous for yourself and appreciate what a loving, wonderful person you are. You might also treat your best friend to flowers to spread the appreciation around. Self-love is often the first step to finding a loving partner. For nearly 2,000 years Cupid been bringing couples together with his symbolic bow and arrow. Make friends with Cupid and enjoy all the aspects of love in your life. Happy Valentine’s Day!
Ronnie Ann Ryan, The Dating Coach, is also the author of MANifesting Mr. Right: It’s Never Too Late to Find the Love You Want. Sign up for her newsletter by clicking below.
Spa Day: Women’s Wisdom & Wellness
February 2, 2006 by Barb Scala
Filed under self discovery
IMAGINE a day of retreat, close to home beginning with a wonderful full body limbering stretch followed by luxurious spa treatments, self discovery workshops, a healthy lunch and a lovely afternoon Tea and Talk with Prill Boyle, inspirational author of Defying Gravity; NOT to mention time to spend with your girlfriend, daughter, sister, mom or just YOU?
De-Stress, Relax, Rejuvenate, Enjoy!
Sunday ▪ March 12th ▪ 10:00 to 5:00pm
The Spa at Split Rock
539 Danbury Road, Wilton, CT
Call 203.762.5577 to Register. $300 per person.
Relationship Tune-Up
February 2, 2006 by Barb Scala
Filed under Articles, sanity savers
Dr. Dale, licensed psychologist who appears on the TODAY Show, joins us with her ongoing column
Sanity SaversTM for a BALANCED Life.
Get Back on Track
Have you ever wondered why so many couples are disappointed with their love life? Have you asked yourself, “Is that all there is?” or “Where has the romance gone?” If you have, it is quite possible that there may be nothing wrong with your significant other but it may be an indication that your relationship needs a “tune-up” in order to get back on track or to find a new track together. Have you ever wondered why so many couples are disappointed with their love life? Have you asked yourself, “Is that all there is?” or “Where has the romance gone?” If you have, it is quite possible that there may be nothing wrong with your significant other but it may be an indication that your relationship needs a “tune-up” in order to get back on track or to find a new track together.
Get Back to “We”
Relationships are vital and dynamic; they are not static. In order to thrive, they need attention, care and nurturing. When you cease to give what your relationship needs, it fails to flourish. It is during these times that people wonder “what’s wrong with him / her?” It is normal for healthy relationships and marriages to go through phases. We need to be aware that we have the power to infuse humor, tenderness, vitality, interest and joy into our relationships to make them more of what we want and need. When “life gets in the way”; time pressures and stress from work, family obligations, and finances get the better of us, couples can lose sight of the importance of “we” as they focus only on “I.” Getting back to “we” is essential if you want to reclaim a committed bond you once felt for your partner.
Get Back to Intimacy and Romance
Changes in your relationship need not signal an end to romance and sexual intimacy. They can be a beginning of a new way to look at things. Most of us are deeply disturbed when romance dissipates. We know it happens to others but we never thought it could happen to us. If you find yourself in this situation, you do not have to stay there. It is important to realize your relationship may be in a readjustment stage and needs more attention. Here are some Sanity Savers to renew the spark in your relationship:
- Reinforce Your Commitment - Frequent, sincere, verbal restatements of vows or promises keep the relationship at the forefront.
- Design a “We” Relationship - Take what you like from your parents’, family and friends’ relationships and reject or revise what does not work for you. Just because your parents behaved a certain way is not enough of a reason for that behavior to be part of your relationship repertoire. Think creatively about new ways to relate to each other. Because your lives and your roles change, both as a couple and as individuals, revisit your “design” periodically.
- Carve Out a Time Together Every Day- Turn off your cell phone, Blackberry or computer and spend time together so that if you want, you can have a conversation, dinner alone, a short walk, and the opportunity to touch without interruption.
- Respect Your Mate- Use respectful language and actions and be willing to see his or her point of view. Demonstrate appreciation not only for what each of you does but for who you are.
- Communicate Effectively - Listen and learn to be descriptive instead of evaluative. Realize that communication needs will change over time. Talk about things other than your children, parents or jobs.
- Try New Things Together - Take a class, work together for a cause, do something you have never done before or something you both enjoyed that you participated in when you first met but that you have let slide.
- Problem Solve Together - If one of you has a problem with the other it becomes a problem for both of you. Find ways to work it out. Listen to your partner’s approach.
- Stay Connected- Be aware of what is going on beneath the surface. Touch base with each other during the day. Plan “alone” time as a couple. Put those dates on your calendar.
- Let Go of Anger- Understand that unresolved anger and feelings of disappointment can get in the way of emotional or physical intimacy.
- Don’t Keep Score-Your marriage is a team effort; not a team sport. Everyone needs encouragement. Scorekeepers do not belong in relationships.
- Laugh and Have Fun – Having a sense of humor is an essential ingredient to all good relationships. Playful openness can stimulate desire. Be careful that you do not use humor at the expense of your mate.
Living Together
February 2, 2006 by Barb Scala
Filed under Articles, sanity savers
Having trouble living with your spouse or significant other? Are issues like household chores, finances, TV and phone time the “little” things that shouldn’t matter but seem to cause emotional meltdowns? Are you considering moving in with your new love but have some concerns about how to keep your personal space while joining to build a life together?
As a committed couple, you’re building a life together and learning how to navigate through everyday life. If you find you’re getting frustrated with his or her annoying habits, it DOES NOT have to mean you’re not meant to be together. It may just indicate that you should review “Sharing 101″ and apply basic negotiating skills to live in harmony for the long run.
Here are some of the most common potential problem areas couples have when living together:
1. Live on Common Ground - Whether you’re moving into an existing space previously occupied by only one of you or are looking for a new place, you should both feel comfortable wherever you choose to live. No one should be a guest in his or her home. This especially rings true when one or both of you move in with kids. If you are moving into his house with your 9 year old son who has the potential for bouncing balls inside and breaking windows, this could be a pressure cooker. Instead, it may be wise to think about moving to a different home or somehow negotiating play areas where anything goes (within reason). The windows might break in any case, but when you’re truly living in a space you both regard as common ground, you won’t feel like you have to walk on eggshells.
2. Choose Décor Together - We’ve all seen those ads for kitchen appliances when opposite partners and their tastes come together to make one fabulous culinary center. If you want a whole new Asian look with a meditation area while your love can’t wait to sink into his comfortably worn brown fuzzy couch with a clicker, compromise is key. When you select items in your home that make both of you happy, then it’s a win-win for all. Come on, you CAN have a fabulous place. There’s a whole world of colors and styles to choose from! It may be worth tossing old “stuff” that no longer has significance in your life BUT remember to respect what your partner values and must hold onto.
3. We All Need Our Personal Space - The term “living together” says it all. Keep expectations reasonable about how much YOU time you can have but realize that you don’t have to be glued together. Plan personal time when you’re all alone in your place or have lunch out with a friend when there’s too much togetherness. When you do need to be alone and your partner is there, a hug, kiss and “I love you” does wonders before you close the door and escape with a good book.
4. Plan Dates - “Now that we’re married or living together, we never go out and do fun and romantic things as we did when we lived apart.” If this sounds like you, get back to the things you did when you were dating. A cozy dinner out, a day at the beach or weekend getaways are more important now so you don’t get into a rut.
5. Communicate, Listen and Learn - When quirky habits get to be big irritants, discussing them with your partner in a non-confrontational way as they arise can nip the problem in the bud. Remember to listen and learn how you can both be more considerate of one another. Try and let go of the “little” annoying habits that truly are little and focus on the real button pushers. We all know by now that you can’t change someone, so accept what you can and creatively problem solve together respecting each other’s differences. It is worth the investment and effort. You are creating the way you want to live together.
6. Use the Team Approach with Chores - Sticking to a structured routine with household chores can become mundane. If you usually do the dishes while he cooks, surprise him with a tasty dinner (even if it’s take out) for a nice change of pace. By pitching in and lending a hand even when it’s not your territory, you show your partner you value what he or she does to make the household run smoothly.
7. Discuss Money Before Crossing the Threshold - Honesty and awareness are important when dealing with money matters. Fess up to your partner if you’re a spender or, on the other hand, like to hoard your savings. And be aware of each other’s money habits. Decide who pays for what and how to handle living expenses, especially if incomes differ significantly. No one should have to sneak in with new purchases and say “Oh, this old thing” when you’re debuting a new outfit. A general budgeting plan with room for flexibility is a great idea as you begin your life together under one roof.
Dale V. Atkins, Ph.D. is a licensed psychologist who has more than twenty-five years of experience as a relationship expert, focusing on families, couples, parenting, aging well, managing stress and maintaining balance in one’s life. An author of several books, articles and journals for popular and professional audiences, Dr. Atkins is a much sought after lecturer and keynote speaker as well as a recurrent guest expert in the media. She frequently appears on NBC-TV’s “Today Show”. Dr. Atkins has a private practice in New York City.